The death of Self Esteem

Has anybody else noticed and been disturbed by the way famous people (usually young girls) are having photo shoots where they are doing a "tribute" to someone who is dead?????

WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?

http://nymag.com/fashion/08/spring/44247/

http://alpha.newsx.com/story/lindsay-lohans-tribute-marilyn-monroe

Are they relying on the fact that someone is naked to sell the magazine?   Or is the person who consents to this relying on it being considered as "art" instead of "pornography"?  

And what exactly are you supposed to feel if someone asks you to come to a photo shoot so that they can camouflage your face and hair to look like someone else but they for sure want to use your naked body?  I have noticed that Hollywood has not been able to come up with one single original idea for about a decade, and now it's oozing over into media outlets that I cannot ignore as easily as the movies.

Do you figure that the money is good so what the hey?

Do you feel like "what's wrong with my naked body?  Is it 'cause I'm not famous enough?"

Do you stop to wonder WHY anyone would want you to look like a poor confused and exploited person who had a pretty sad life and killed herself over 50 years ago?  Do I need to point out that even poor confused and exploited persons 50 years ago had better sense than to pose naked for people who would widely distribute those photos?

Do your parents not object to any of this?????

Because I would like to tell all girls everywhere a couple of things:  

Number 1, don't let anybody take pictures of your naked body.  Nothing is wrong with your body, it is beautiful, but you  may want to wait until you are at least old enough to legally buy  a drink in a bar before you decide to do something like this.  Anyone who encourages you to display your naked body probably does not have your best interests in mind, and if you are determined to let someone take naked pictures of you the least you should do is hold out for the maximum amount you can possibly get, assuming you need the money to survive.  Anything else is just selling yourself short.  Really.  Once done, you will have to live with it for the rest of your life.  But you will not know this until it is too late and then you will never be able to un-know it.  There are many, many paths in life.  Choosing the right one takes time and should be taken slowly.   There is no reason for every second to be recorded in pictures.  You will have years to try many different paths, if that is your wish.  I promise. 

Number 2:  If you are determined to get pictures taken of your naked body, at least get the billing for it!! This Ms. Star Thang AS Beloved Dead Movie Star stuff is really beneath both of you. It's not fair to you because it implies that your own naked body is worth more with your face smeared up so that you don't even look like yourself (as if anyone will look at your FACE!  lol) and it's not fair to the dead person because you KNOW they are not getting a cut.  Girls should never do that to each other, it's a code.  We have to stick together, especially when our naked pictures are being shopped all around and our lives are ruined and there is no way to keep our grandmother's from finding out.  And if you think your grandmother finding out is your worst nightmare, just wait until you have kids.   Nobody else has your body, and the thought of taking the step of having nude pictures taken while hiding behind some kind of "tribute" is truly disturbing.  It's a cop out that even a 3 year old would know better than to try, provided the 3 year old had parents that held them accountable and didn't sell them out to the first guy with cash that came along.  How much better off would Lindsay be if she hadn't been raised to calculate how much she was "worth" in this way?  I am thinking quite a little bit, but I guess it would all depend on your definition of "worth".

I haven't watched much TV for years, but I am constantly seeing magazine's at the grocery store, you can't get away from it, and if you think your kids aren't taking some of that in you are not paying attention.  Our girls are completely lost and our boys are completely confused.  There is no map anymore and you can't even trust an adult to tell you the truth.  Worst of all, there seems to be a lot of confusion as to which way is up.  There are kids, and even adults who seem to be under the impression that "up" is whatever way you want it to be, but the world will teach you different, and without a strong sense of direction you will surely be lost.  Without a strong sense of yourself you could find yourself naked in a magazine looking for all the world like someone else, and not one person finding anything wrong with that at all.  When do you suppose that little voice inside them gives up and quits saying "hey, this isn't right, isn't somebody going to do something about this??? I'm just a kid!"  It seems that this voice gives up around puberty, if it lives to sound the alarm that long.  It is slowly eroded by the steady drip of apathy and the lack of honor in our world today.

People who do not display their naked bodies do not do so because they have all the money they could ever want.  People who do not display their naked bodies do so because they value their "self" and do not want to start out on the slippery slope of losing their honor or their self respect.  It's time for honor and respect to make a huge comeback in America.  This is the time, while there are still some left who know what that is.

It seems that parents have fallen down. I am not trying to pick on Lindsay's parents, there are plenty more.  She is just the easiest one to come up with links to.   It seems, actually, as if some parents have fallen down a rabbit hole.  It also seems like they took the pill that makes you smaller.  When I was growing up, parents seemed to have taken a pill that made them bigger.  Parents, and it did not by any means have to be your parent, any parents, were big, watching, and not afraid to correct you whether you were their kid or not.  

Consider how all of us accepting this of thing as anything but disturbing will change the world a little bit more. (Like saaands through the hour glass, these are the daaaays of our liiiives....) We are not doing anyone any favors by letting stuff like this exist in our world without honest comment.  No one ever calls them on it, and women's magazines are the very worst.  Years ago I read Playboy for the first time.  Yes, I really read it.  I was AMAZED by how good it was, compared to the crap they put out there for women.  The women's magazines were always the same: Lots of ads for makeup, jewelry and clothes, a few recipes, some version of Can This Relationship Be Saved?, and advise on how to keep your house clean so your husband would come home and your children would not end up on drugs. Oh, and a sex move that is supposed to be "new" and will keep your man so happy he will not want to leave your presence except to go to the bathroom.   Seriously.  Now even Playboy, the one magazine that never made any bones about what it was but included extraordinary interviews and always made the women who posed in it at least look pretty,  has decided to jump on the "pretend to be somebody else" bandwagon.  

http://philly.barstoolsports.com/around-barstool/the-lindsay-lohan-playboy-pictures-are-here-nsfw/

Take a look at a magazine, pick any one, it does not really matter anymore, with clear eyes and then tell me what message you get from it's contents.

 I have pretty much given TV and movies up over the past several years.  I have always read a lot, and I haven't looked back, either.  Now when I do watch I am usually shocked.  Doubly shocked, once when it happens and again when no one watching is disgusted by it, some even laugh.  They are not bad people, and I know that, but they are not thinking for themselves.  They are just staring at a box, "relaxing", and accepting unquestionably that what comes out of it is appropriate and funny when neither of these things is  true in the slightest.  But to bring this up might make people "uncomfortable" and they don't want to make any "waves".  Because............well.................because it has become fashionable to fall in with the status quo and  not question anything.  Wake up and get real!  The world is going down the tubes and everybody is watching Jersey Shore.  

I think the world is being slowly choked to death by the political correctness of these times, and I am done being silent while my children are constantly bombarded with ideas that make no sense and do not even have any entertainment value.  There are a million ways to quit buying into this kind of thing, literally.  I hope you don't buy any of these magazines because they are nothing but trash and advertising, but I repeat myself.  Take a good look at some of the article's.   Just read the outside!  I double dog dare you.  Then, if you are really feeling good about yourself, watch some t.v.  Tell me what you really think is funny about it.  I would just love to know.  Discuss this with your children, or if you don't have children, any children you know.  Us being quiet about it makes them think this is "normal".  This is not "normal", I refuse to accept this as "normal" and I am done being polite about it.

We are bombarded with so much filth that is supposed to be "funny" or "artistic".  Pah-leeeeezzze.  Use your brains.  Is that what you want your kids to think is normal?  Not me.

Blindsided by TLC

Before Christmas, one of my oldest, dearest friends stopped by.  At the end of her visit, she and I were at the top of the stairs that lead into my basement, which has become the man cave and where the twins hang out most of the time.  The twins were both at the bottom of the stairs.

She was making her goodbyes when she mentioned something about hoping that Santa came to see the boys.  My youngest baby blurts out "Oh, Santa.....the God of the whores."

Both she and I went very still and very carefully did not look at each other.

I said "What?  What did you just say?"

He repeats "Santa Claus?  Saint Nick?  He was the God of the whores, isn't that right?"

We are still both frozen there, not moving.  Barely breathing.  I am kind of in shock, trying to make sense of these words coming out of my Youngest Baby's mouth while he looks at me with the same expression that he would ask me if I sent lunch  money to school with his brother.

So I say "Can you spell that word?" in a desperate bet that I have heard wrong.

My friend is holding her breathe trying not to laugh or change her facial expression in any way.  Thank God she was the one this happened in front of!  I mean, honestly, when you are a parent you are vulnerable in ways I don't even want to tell you about. They can ruin your life at any moment!!  Your mission (and only hope) is to keep them as ignorant of that fact as is humanly possible.

He could not spell that word, and instead of trying he looks at me as if I am stupid (which, I admit I kind of have to give that one to him), and says, "You know, like women.......?"

I say "WHO TOLD YOU THAT??!!!  And you should never use that word!!"

And he says "I saw it on The Learning Channel!  It was a documentary and it said that St. Nick is the God of the whores because he saved them!"

I do not, at first, believe this.  I accuse them of getting around the controls on the computer.  Both twins insist that this story is true,  Apparently they both watched it but only one was fool enough to open his mouth and reveal what they had learned.  So, I Google it:

http://tlc.howstuffworks.com/family/christmas-traditions-around-the-world-ga.htm

And while he is not big on details, he got the gist of it.

Apparently, in Thailand, St. Nick is the patron saint of prostitutes, because he took young girls likely to be sold into prostitution and put them in an abbey instead, where they became nuns.   The moral of the story is that St. Nick is not be confused with the God of the whores.  I won't even offer any guesses as to whom that might be.........  but I would expect he is probably ensconced in Hollywood.  In any case, I expect the prostitutes need all the patron saints they can get.

Just a cautionary tale to any parent still under the impression that documentaries are safe and boring.  It all depends on the interpretation.  You may want to watch with them to clarify points that could be misconstrued.  It could save you a very embarrassing scene that, with any luck, will occur in the privacy of your own house with only your trusted friends as witnesses.

We girls laughed for about 20 solid minutes after this, in private, while we railed equally against the Learning Channel and Thailand, in that order.  Santa was spared any acrimony.

Another memory made!

Conversations with my dog

I recently had this conversation.  A couple of times.......

'Dog':  "Why do you keep me caged up only on your property?"

Me: "Because I have to keep you safe and I love you!"

'Dog':  "But I want to run and be free and make friends and smell everything!!"

Me:  "If you ran free you might get hit by a car, or lost.  Your friends can visit you here, they know where you live, and as for some of the things you smell.......well, they just aren't good for you and it's my job to keep you safe!"

'Dog':  "But I'm big now.......I am a dog.......I am supposed to run free and smell everything.  It's the way God made me!"

Me:  "Well, that is true, but you are my dog, and I have to pay to get you out of the pound, and that's if you don't get hit by a car and die, and I wouldn't want to have to explain to God why I was so careless with your life.  Thank God I got you both fixed.  At least that's one thing I don't have to worry about with you dogs!!"

'Dog':  "But..............but.............but.................I'm not living a full life......I'm going to die alone.  All the other dogs' mothers' let THEM run free and smell everything!!"

Me:  "And I certainly hope their mother's have good reasons because God is pretty hard to fool!  Besides, someday you will be grown dog and you will have to make your own decisions.  I have to keep you safe long enough for that to happen.   It's my job to teach you how to make good ones even if I am not here to hit you upside the head with a wooden spoon and keep you on the right track.  It does seem to be taking kind of a long time, but we must persevere.  I know in my heart that you are a smart dog and you can figure this out."

'Dog':  "But..................but...........but..................."

As the 'dog' searches for another argument, I casually put some food out.  This distracts his sweet little male brain and the conversation is over.  Again.  

Until next time.

Ok, maybe it wasn't actually with a dog, maybe it was with a boy.  Or two.  But Jack and I have had this same conversation without the words.( I can tell by his eyes!)  Only with Jack, my actual dog, I know that as long as I let him in and give him food he would rather be there than anywhere else.  'Outside' ceases to be a concern to Jack unless he can see it.  

Boys, however, are pretty hard to fool.