One thing about putting things off, is you can get a lot done in a hurry. Or at least make it look like you did.
I have always wished that you could just move out your furniture and use a fire hose for your house once every year, much like farmers burn off their fields. My dream house has concrete floors with big drains in the middle, plastic walls at least half-way up, and a removable roof for those days when you are mad enough to actually kill bats with your bare hands. Also really, really nice furniture and soft warm rugs. But that's just a dream. Some young architect should get on this idea and make it happen. Like with a 3-D printer or something. Just a thought.
Maybe The Beautiful Redhead's smashing boyfriend, The Magic Man, could make that happen. He seems to be good at all kinds of cool stuff! He makes me so happy, for one thing. And if you think he makes me happy, well, just look. Happiness seems to kind of pour out of people around him, if you ask me.
If you think it's easy for me to drift away and ramble on in print, you should be sitting on my porch right now. I've already decided that the wind is blowing too hard to start burning leaves any time soon, so no hurry with the leaves. Also, I have my first dandelions blooming, along with jonquils and crocus' and hyacinths and some cute little purple flower that I never known what to call, but visits every year and I think of as a dear friend. They are all either bright yellow or bright purple, and the grass turned green Thursday, so it is just beautiful. Thus, easy to put off things, which is just how I like it, God help me.
To Do List:
1. Store. We have to eat. I could do this in my sleep, and sometimes do, I'm pretty sure. I do not even actually consider this a chore anymore, except for the house that I have to take a shower and leave the house. Into every life, a little rain must fall.
2. Flooring trip: I've reached the point where I am so sick of the carpet in my house that I am ready to tear it up and haul it out of the house. In fact, my Youngest Baby dropped an entire gallon of milk on the living room carpet 2 weeks ago. Then he just stood there calmly and watched it soak slowly in, as Jack and Shadow paid close attention and I was stuck in the doorway behind him, also loaded down with grocery bags. No one got the least bit excited. I pondered on whether this was good or bad and decided that it didn't really matter right now. Then my beloved Bissell, who I had placed my trust in, would not squirt out water, the traitorous rotten scoundrel. And I don't know, maybe 13 years with the same crappy carpet is just my magic number, but something snapped inside me. It was like a switch had just flipped and I said SO BE IT. I was going to get this crap out of my house and my life and it was all I could do not to just set the whole floor on fire right then. The voice in my head said, "Easy, now, it has taken 13 years to get to the point. Let us not mess it up at this point." And I just calmly knew that it would happen. I wasn't mad, or sad, or even dreading the physical work of it. It was going down, I had that certainty that has never in my life failed me, and I calmly went on making my plans for it's demise and disappearance from my life with no regrets whatsoever. I love it when that happens!! SOOO MUCH!!! So today I am going down there and picking something out and paying for it that is going to be that. It will not be carpet. Other than that, I don't even care. In fact, the Angel just last night almost begged me to "decorate a little". (Actually, that happened right after the chalkboard idea that I plan to do a whole half-wall of in the kitchen/living room area. High enough for me to write copious notes to myself and low enough for Abigail, Rose, and our Charli-girl, not to mention all the kids that come along for years and years, to draw anything they want and never get in trouble. Yes, never. I can take anything they can dish out. I am highly trained in this area!! :D) Do not worry, Angel, I got this. We are going to have new flooring, paint, ceiling, and I have 30 years of stuff to "decorate" with and I need to get it all down and group it. Clean it. Sell some of it. Hang some of it back up and have it look fabulous.
It feels right, now. It feels like it's time. I have put this off for 13 years, not caring about it one whit, and now that time is over. SO BE IT. I do not even pretend to understand it, I don't think that understanding things matters much. You know it when it happens, that is all. And that is enough. I am pretty sure this feeling is peace. And I am going to do my best to keep it. Wow. That turned into a beautiful rant. :D I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. This is one of the best things about getting older for me. I have always flown by my own lights, so to speak, but as you get older, you don't pressure yourself so much. You don't second guess yourself either, and you are now without that horrible dread of not knowing what will happen next. You know what's probably going to happen next. You've seen the same things happen over and over again until you know the patterns. You know that unless you die, the world is just going to keep going on and you will deal with it as it comes. Best of all, you no longer care what other people think, if you ever did. There are so many things you simply do not care about anymore, and that makes me very happy. I cannot speak for anyone else, but look at women around 50 years old. If they seem relaxed, comfortable in their own skin, to have some secret peace about them, it's probably because they are, and they do. They have earned it after years of working hard for it. That is just life, and it is something to look forward to. You don't have to understand how or why. Just trust that someday, you will not feel those pressures and you will no longer wonder where you fit or what you are supposed to do. You will know. It will happen to you. Let it.
3. Rake leaves, possibly burn some, but probably not until later, especially if it's going to rain tonight. Jack and Shadow love this more than just about anything, and race from pile to pile. If you make the pile big enough, Shadow will jump into it and hide, with only her eye exposed, waiting for good old clueless Jack to come by so she can attack him. Either Jack loves her so much that he lets her do this to him every year because it makes her so very happy, or Jack is just never going to catch on to some things in life. I'll let you decide which one of those things is true. Jack is not the smartest dog I have ever known, but he is the sweetest, which is really good during the times you want to kill him. Like right after he eats about 15 of the peanut butter balls that your kids like best and you have just spent 45 minutes rolling into balls and freezing and dipping in peanut butter and white chocolate. Jack also has a sophisticated palate, for a dog, and very good taste. If you found yourself suddenly homeless and hungry, you would be well advised to follow Jack, because he would not steer you wrong. Shadow, on the other hand, would keep you well supplied with squirrels and rabbits and I don't like to go further than that because it makes me sad, but you get the picture. You would not starve, at any rate. (The voice in my head started saying STOP as soon as we passed the peanut butter balls, for the record. I think it is taking on the same kind of personality as Jonah Goldberg's couch. And for that I thank you, Jonah. You all help keep me laughing and on my toes).
4. Grab paint samples for inside AND outside, although I already know what color I'm doing outside. Steel Blue. Paired with white it is just perfect, and I don't know why I always want to live in a blue house but I think it might vaguely have something to do with the South, and blue doors to scare away haints. It's just right for me, and that is all.
5. Tear up carpet. If you have ever done this, you already know the dual feelings this inspired. The dread at how disgustingly gross and creepy crawly you are going to feel until you get it out, that is equally balanced with the joy of knowing how much frustration will then be absent from your life and the beckoning siren's call of clean, possibly shiny, brand new space that can be cleaned with the swipe of a dust mop. Dust mop's are what we had before Swiffer Sweepers for you young folk. In case you didn't know that word. I can never be sure anymore, and sometimes find myself speaking a foreign language. If you don't know what I mean, try explaining the game where you drop the clothespin into the milk bottle to anyone under the age of 25.
Anyway, that is my weekend, and it is high time I got it started. I have wasted the entire morning, or added another chapter to the story of our lives, which ever way you want to look at it. I think you know, by now, where I stand on that, aye?
I've had all the coffee I get for the day and I've wasted enough time on the porch, enjoying the sunshine and breeze and colors. Thanks for sharing my rambles. Stop in again any time.