May 6, 2011

Guardian Angels

I am continually amazed at the "help" I get from what seems like the oddest places.  I think everyone gets help like this, the trick is just to notice sometimes.

Whether you actually believe in Guardian Angels or not, I believe angels are everywhere.  Not necessarily the kind with wings that shine with a light and speak for God, although that wouldn't really surprise me too much anymore.  In fact, I have to wonder if I would consider that more or less odd than those people I saw the other night on TV with split tongues and plastic ....additions?  things.....implanted under their skin to make them look like lizards and stuff.  If you did that to someone else, what do you suppose the charge would be?  I'm pretty sure it would land you in prison. But these people wanted to do that to themselves.  Which is their right in this country.  Ok, now I'm wandering again.  Back to Angels, who, if I know God, will put one of those lizard-people in place to help me with something next week.  He does that to me all the time. I'm pretty sure I'm currently supposed to be learning "humble".  Don't ask me if that was a joke.  It was and it wasn't.  Just stay tuned and mark my words.  It's happened to me MANY times. Now back to Angels.

It can be a random person holding a door for you when you are struggling to get into a store with a couple of infants.  In seats.  That weigh about 25 lbs. each.  Maybe more.  It always seems like more if it's raining.  Or dark.

It can be the supporting squeeze on the shoulder from the person behind you (whom you may or may not know)when you are in line at Wal Mart and you have two toddlers who decide to have simultaneous melt downs and you are 4th in line for the checkout. 

It can be someone who offers you a job, sets you up on a date that works out ( I freely admit this is more rare), or moves in next to you.

It can even be a sales clerk who intercedes between a mother and a teenage daughter and saves someones eyes from rolling right out of their joints.

You may not believe this, but it can even be someone who breaks your heart or betrays you in a way you think you will never get over.
Yes, it can!

Case in point:  I have a real life Guardian Angel right here on earth.  This person has been in my life for decades and has time and time again treated me like a child/sister/daughter in a way---and this is key for me with my pride and all----in which I have never been embarrassed or tried to resist.  And might I add, they have never steered me wrong.  Their concern has only ever been for my own best interests. 

My angel is.... how can I put this.... used to being obeyed/in charge and has a way of taking control of situations, so that it seems as if it's the most natural thing in the world to.........obey.   There are very few people in this world for whom I will fall into line.  But this Angel makes falling into line feel like the most natural thing in the world.  They have a gift.

So, today I mention to the Angel that I have signed up for a self defense course tomorrow and will happily spend the day blowing some stuff to Kingdom Come!  The Angel immediately draws a  pistol out of their pocket and asks if I want to take that.  Yeah, you read that right.  No self consciousness at all in just pulling out a gun at the drop of a hat.  I have gotten used to this over the years.  It used to make me want to shut doors and "hide the evidence", so to speak, and act in all manner of suspicious ways.  But not now.  I've come a long way, baby.

"No, it's too short, I need a longer stock so my wrists don't ache".

So the Angel says "Come by the house and I'll get you some more to pick from".  I go to said house and am treated to a small collection of lovely firearms, (all legally registered), and a little practice session with the one I pick.  9mm all the way,  Because I'm worth it.  (I hope you are getting a kick out of my using phrases taken from products usually marketed to women here, because I think it's hilariously ironic.  Cigarettes and hair color, respectively.  If women listened to advertising they would indeed be lost, no?  We lose a lot of the good ones that way.)

This gun is light, has smooth action, and doesn't make my wrists ache at all.  Believe it or not, when you get older your wrists are going to betray you, honey.  In all the worst ways.  Mine have lost their strength and ache all the time to boot.  WHICH is why it's important not to pick a gun too quickly.  And to take Aleve every day.

Listen to me.  You will need to know all this information sooner or later.  It will happen to you.  When it does, I expect you to be able to defend yourself and your children.  There will be none of this standing around crying waiting to be rescued for my readers, understand?  That scenario is not for us.  If that is your plan, you need to get with the program or find yourself some other blog to read.  Please.  I cannot abide whining.  There really is no reason for it and it is *very* unattractive.  Don't do it.  Just say no.  (Not a product marketed to women, but an equally useless and expensive program that they used a woman to promote.  Poor Nancy.  She should have pointed a gun at their head and just said "no".  Very politely, of course.  You would be surprised how much easier it is be to be very polite when you are holding a gun.)

Be ready with the knowledge that you are equal to the task.  Get a gun and get to know it.  Know it so well you get used to feeling secure when you are lost in bad neighborhoods late at night after you took a wrong turn.  Can you imagine this?  It can be you.  It will be me.  

Wish me luck!  Me and 99 other women are going to train to make the world a safer place today.  I cannot wait! 

This is just the latest way my Angel has guided me.

What about you?  Have you seen any Angels lately?