Jan 16, 2011

Mistaken lyrics beget blog title

Update on non-smoking:  I have noticed, as have a couple of others, that I am smoking the magic stick less.  It is now about 9 or 10 in the morning before I really have a craving for the nicotine.
I have also heard rumblings of the starter kits being taken off the market.  I haven't researched it yet, but word on the street is that the FDA is throwing a fit because they haven't approved it.  I didn't know that was even a requirement of the FDA anymore with all the commercials for drugs on TV now, which turn out to have class action suits filed within a period of about 3 years because the drug they advertised and you went and got from your Dr. turned out to have serious side effects that will probably kill you.  Have you actually listened to those commercials?  The side effects they read at the end always have me in stitches.  You really have to wonder who would need a drug that bad.
But back to the electric cigarettes, I think we will still be able to buy the cartridge refills.  If you are interested in one at all, I would buy one or two now.  It has been a miracle for me and several of my friends. No one who has tried one has said it did not cut down on thier smoking.

In other news, I will tell you where the name of my blog comes from.  My oldest son, the Rock Star, recently recorded a CD with his band. This CD is the result of years of work, sweat, money, tears and life experience and I am so very proud of these kids.  The name of the band is Our Last Run.  I happen to know they take all exposure, especially if it's free, and I have been cleared to talk about them.
These kids have been playing together for 4 or 5 years, and for most of those years, our house was a place where musical instruments were always laying out, song lists and partially written songs were on slips of paper everywhere, and it was not uncommon for 5 or 6 strapping young gentlemen to wander in and inquire if there was anything to eat. (There was, as a result of my having discovered Pioneer
Woman about that time.)
It was loud, the hours were not regular, and you might get a call at 10 pm requesting an extension cord or something be delivered to where the band was playing.  The Rock Star wrote most of the lyrics and used words like "debris" and "disarray", which thrilled his already proud mother to no end.   "Hey, mom, listen to this song and help me figure out what to do with it" was a common request.
So, you would think I would know all the words, right?  Not so right. 
When I got my advance copy, I put it in my car and rode around until I had listened to the whole thing.  When I got home, I told The Rock Star that I absolutely loved it, raved on and on very enthusiastically, and said "Lace your days with hope", that is the best line.  The Rock Star didn't miss a beat.  He just smiled fondly and said "Huh.  It's actually "replace your fears with hope", but that's actually better.  I think I'll use that."  I felt terrible about it.  I assured him it probably wasn't his singing, it was more likely my old hearing.  But since I came up with it I decided to use it for my blog title.  If he wants to use it now I will of course give him permission.
I can't tell you what it is as a mother to listen to these songs.  They chronicle his life in those years, and he has grown so much and so WELL that I can only hope he never stops.  It's been 6 months and I still can't keep from tearing up everytime I listen to it.
If I had known when I became a mother how wonderful it would turn out, I would do it all again, 1000 times.  It is being a parent that makes us become the best person we can be.  We live a certain way not because we like to (at first) but to give our children an example of how to live thier lives.  I used to think as a young mother that when the kids grew up I would have time to chase my own dreams.  Along the way I came to realize that my children were the only dreams I ever had worth pursuing. 
I think sacrifice is the secret to life.  You have to do it for a long time without getting anything back.  Because otherwise, it's not really sacrifice, is it?  If you do it long enough, you will learn to love it for itself.  It ceases to matter whether you get anything back.  And when you do, it only makes you glad they see that you made it and are grateful in turn. 
That's how you know they will be all right, even if you die tomorrow.  It all comes full circle and you will find that all those years you went on because you didn't know what else to do, well, there was a plan.  You were doing exactly what you were supposed to.
It's a really good feeling.  It takes 20 years, but it's SO SO worth it.

That should be enough hope to lace several days.  Especially for the young mothers who are trapped at home during this long, miserably cold haul up the hill to spring.  Take heart and have a little faith in yourself.  Trust God.  He really is in control.