Nov 3, 2011

Winter again.....for the next 6 months.......

ARG!  It's cold, wet and windy again. The dead limbs are blowing out of the trees.  The leaves are piling up.  And I have raked, blown, and burned twice already.

It makes me wish I had a roaring fireplace and a hot toddy. 

Not really. 

I don't even know what a hot toddy is, and the closest I ever got to a fireplace was a wood stove, which I loved dearly for the heat --but the cleaning involved!  Not really worth it.  Just my opinion.  You can't beat the heat but the clean up never ends.  Nevah!.

This morning the wind blew my umbrella wrong side out.

It's dark when I get up and will soon also be dark when I come home.

I hate this time of year. 

It's like being trapped in a dream ( of lethargy and apathy) unable to move (not that you care) while the whole time you can see Christmas (AGGG!  SCARY CHRISTMAS!!) bearing down upon you. 

I wish I was a bear. 

Mostly for the hibernation.

OK, completely for the hibernation. 

Also, they give birth to their cubs while they are hibernating.  After they have pigged out all summer and gotten really fat and soaked up all the sun and summer breezes.  Their cubs are born the size of walnuts.

 I think I could handle that. 

I know I could handle that.

Bears have good lives.  The rest of us have Christmas.

Can you tell I hate this time of year?  Nothing against Christmas but it's the pressure. 

The cleaning, the cooking, the hiding, the wrapping, the trying to figure out where you hid it so you can wrap it.  The not being able to stay in bed all day. 

The getting sidetracked in the crap that's been in boxes in the basement for the last 20 years while you look for the stuff that you bought and hid away.  You think you remember buying it.  You meant to buy it.  Maybe you forgot that too.  Maybe you dreamed it!

GREAT!  Now you don't have what you thought you had, or maybe you DO have it, but you just can't find it.  At any rate, it's just like the dream.  You know have to get busy, and yet you cannot move, frozen in dread.

Every year I start in on my Christmas shopping only to realize that I need extra stuff for the Rock Star because his birthday is Dec. 1.

I do not forget this.  NO!  I don't. 

I remember it but forget to get a gift bought.

Then, once I start buying every body's Christmas, I remember that  his birthday hasn't happened yet, that  I have simply been working ahead on that blasted list in my head.

And I skipped a step.  An event.  An event that needs a gift to accompany it.  That's when I  have to take a couple things out of the Christmas stuff  for the birthday gift. 

Because I looked over it in the pressure of Christmas.  Looked over, you understand? 

Not the same as forgetting.  Not.  the.  same.

And then he, poor first born child that he is, is short a couple of gifts for Christmas.

Why am I (and all mothers, I believe) obsessed in keeping everything strictly "even"?????  Because it's right, that's why!!!!

This is just one reason to keep some extra gifts around.  The Home Shopping Channel is great for these. Buy cheap anonymous stuff that would work for practically anyone by the hundreds, just don't forget where you put them. 

Last year I got him a crock pot. 

Sad, I know. 

Even sadder?  .............He liked it. That's how old and responsible he is now.

My little boy is gone.  Now I feel like crying.  Maybe it's the weather.  Maybe it's the menopause.  Maybe it's just that I'm not a bear.

I have to go dig my Kahlua out of the closet, pour some into a cup of coffee (that's as close as I get to a hot toddy), and surf the net for great deals with no shipping.  This is my life.  Eat your hearts out, bears everywhere.

Why do I keep my Kahlua in my closet, you may ask?  Well, ever since I found the Crown frozen in the freezer that's just the way I do it.  My liquor is now on the top shelf in an old purse, behind my memory book from high school.

And yes, I know Crown doesn't freeze.  Unless you add water to it. 

When boys are about 13 they don't think too far into the future, which is both is both their blessing and their curse.

Ok, my blessing.  Their curse.

It could be worse.  The other day they asked me if you smoked or snorted weed.  They both graduated from the Dare Program.  No comment on what they learned in it, but at least you can see why I do not just go to bed this time of year, much as I think I deserve it and would LOVE to.

 I have liquor to to guard and presents to find.  I think......

I hope I have enough energy for the next few years.  I do not think they are going to include much sleep.

It's that time of year.  Again........Yawn.  Hang in there.