Apr 5, 2014

Top 'O The Hill To Ye, Matey.........

Today I am 49 years old.  I have been christened a Warrior Princess and I will become a real grandmother for the first time this year.
Grandma's got a whole new "hair look".  Let us hope it's a good one.
If it's not, I'm just going to focus on the fact that I don't have to spend any more of what life I have left fixing it, worrying about it, or perhaps most importantly, buying product for it.
If you are a woman, and still in the throes of worrying about how you look, take a moment right now and do me a favor:  add up all the hours that you spend fixing and/or worrying about your hair.
Your hair, for God's sake.
It's kind of a lot of time, is it not?
Now, for added clarity, add the time you spend looking through your purse.
My bet is that these two things will add up to enough time to do a whole lot of things that matter a whole lot more.
Am I right?
Well, I'm done.  I've paid my dues.  I chopped that crap off and bought a little purse that only holds a few things, which turn out to be only what I need.  I've drug around a heavy old purse most of my life and those days are over.
The days of worrying about my hair?  Behind me now.
I have made peace with a lot of things, my hair being just one of them, and it has been time well spent.
Lately I've been feeling terrible about my house falling down around my ears and my not caring.....
And I realized that I have been working on things inside for about 10 years.  And I have done a pretty good job of getting everything in order there.  It has not been easy, but what worth having ever is?
Now, it is time once again to turn my attention to outside.  I have a lot to do.  This house has to be "grandma's house" by June, man, and I have got stuff to do.  Ripping up carpet and painting and...well, lots of stuff that does not include worrying about my hair, my purse, or anything else that used to matter so much to me.
I kind of hate to tell you this, but I grew up.  Yes, it happened to me, and it will probably happen to you.  It doesn't hurt except for mentally, and don't spend more time kicking yourself for stupid things you did, of which there will be many.  That is just a waste.  When you know better, you just do better.  You have to make yourself, no one is going to follow you around and make you.  (Well, this could actually be debated, but if I have my way, no one will ever do this.  We'll see, but I just choose to have faith.)
Should someone show up and start ordering you around, I suggest you resist strongly, immediately and permanently, because I can promise you, not only will you not like it, but it will not be good for you in the end.
You have to take responsibility for yourself and be willing to pay the price for whatever happens from there.
Yes. It's true.  Otherwise, there are no adults in the world and things get..............realllllly stupid.  Look around!  We are there.
I look out from the top of this hill I've been climbing for so many years, and I am just ready for whatever happens next.
I don't even really care what that is, because it's going to happen anyway.  All I can do is be ready.
I no longer try to imagine what that will be, partly because it makes me almost suicidally depressed, but mostly because I use the trick of remembering that my imagination is tainted by this world, and my mind cannot even imagine what God has in store.
I find a lot of comfort in this.  
I hope you do, too.
It's a good trick and if you live long enough you will master it also.
Practice, practice, practice.  Life provides nothing but, really, once you catch on.
Whatever comes next, here's to you.
I'm ready.
Here's to growing old gracefully, fully aware of all that you are and are not, and knowing what's really important.
No one will tell you, and I'm not going to either.
Some things you just have to know yourself, and you will.
I promise you, you will know when it happens to you.