So, one of the boys is playing football this year. This means that I spend most of my evenings in my car in the school parking lot waiting. Waiting for what? Just waiting. Does it really matter "for what"? No. Just bring a book. This my best advise. Or blog from your car. Multi-tasking at it's best!!
Sunday evening, after swimming, I reminded both boys to put alcohol in their ears. Four times. I do not believe either of them did this.
Monday morning I reminded both boys to put alcohol in their ears. Twice.
Monday at lunch I come home, maneuver around the giant pile of clothes, sorted by size and item, that are currently residing in my living room floor, and go to the bathroom. On the counter I see the bottle of Glyoxide out without it's cap.
I am certain that one of the boys, probably the younger one, put Glyoxide in his ears instead of alcohol.
Both bottles are the same shape and size. Alcohol's tip is red. Glyoxide's is blue.
I sigh. At some point, probably about the time your kids turn 14, you are ready to let them sink or swim on their own. Not that you don't hope they swim. Not that you don't have vague plans in the back of your mind, constantly, about what you will do if they sink.
Mostly you just sigh and wait for this day to pass.
I did not even put the cap back on the Glyoxide, because that is not my job, either.
Tuesday, the youngest baby asks desperately, "Is today Wednesday"?
"No". I flatly state, shooting down his hope.
These cooler nights are coming earlier and we are all sluggish with the desire to sleep more and/or allergies. Our days are nothing but what we must go through in order to get back to bed, where we would much prefer to stay. I speak for everyone in my household when I say this.
Wednesday morning I am on my second "Ok, I really mean it this time, we have really got to go now!!" trip back into the house and the boys are having a yelling fight. Youngest baby has forgotten a form that I need to sign and he needs to turn in today, of course. And wants Oldest baby to just "put his name on his" form and then turn in one form for both boys. Older baby said "forget that, dude." Youngest baby appeals to me, his mother, who loves him, for help.
It's hell being both mother and father to these boys, but I must say I do a pretty good job of it. I just ask myself what I would do with a grown man who tried to pull that crap on me, and then act accordingly. I figure I am saving an unknown number of women trouble in their not so distant future this way. It has never been my intention to raise any fools, let alone crybabies. The world needs men, and I intend to increase this world's "men" be at least 3. I think it was all those years of complaining about "men" that made God put me in this situation. I hope it is clear that I no longer give God reason to basically say "OK, babe, put your money where your mouth is, I am tired of hearing this same line of whining", but I am only human. You will have to wait and see just like I do.
So I tell Youngest baby to suck it up. It was his responsibility to bring home the paper and he didn't, so he will have to pay the consequences. He is not happy and sulks all the way to the car. While we have a few minutes because we are STILL waiting on Oldest baby, I say "listen, you are getting to the age where nobody is going to accept these silly excuses. You are old enough to know better and you are just going to have carry your own weight. To accept these excuses would mean that I am helping to set you up for a lifetime of bitter disappointment". He screams at me that he knows. I shoot lasers out of my eyes and he settles into a subdued sulk.
I drop off the boys at school and am fool enough to think I am free now to remember what my own day holds. I remember again that it is Wednesday, finally! I start to feel the stress leave me.
My phone rings as I am just turning off of the road that leads to the school.
It's the middle school where I have just about 2 minutes ago dropped off the boys.
"Mom? Can you come back to school and sign my paper? I found it!"
............."yeah. I'll be there in a minute, honey."
I also have to be the sweet mother who will drive for miles just so you don't miss turning in your papers on time.
This is my life.
Every time it runs smoothly for any period of time, something changes.
I just go with the flow. Right now, that involves a lot of driving, waiting, and dog hair.
It could be worse.